


Caraphernelia

by orphan_account



Series: Seth Projects tm [3]
Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: M/M, OK LISTEN TRIGGER WARNING COS REFRERENCED SUICIDE UHHH YEAH, featuring the pressions, lmao more Seth Is Sad tm, man I'm just sad as fuck and wrote this and made myself sadder ://, we all sad here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:28:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Luke grieves.Caraphernelia: broken-heart disease where somebody leaves you but leaves all of their things behind.
Relationships: Ian MacLeod/Luke Sizemore
Series: Seth Projects tm [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565236
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Caraphernelia

The grass crunched under Luke's feet, the paper he held in his hands crinkling as he walked. It was quiet, the sound of birds chirping in the trees above. 

It wasn't long until he reached his destination, stopping abruptly. All the paths looked the same, felt the same. The only way he really knew was from the piles of flowers.

"Hey Ian." Luke kneeled down. "It's been a while, I know, I'm sorry."

Luke paused, almost as if he was expecting a response. 

"I've been pretty busy, music has been going a lot better now. I'm a bit happier now too. Life's just been that bit nicer to me now. Though, I'd love to have you back, I'd rather go back to then, when I had you."

Luke laid the flowers he had in his hands down, on top of the several bouquets already there. 

"I miss you more than my words can ever say. I know I say it every single time, but, I just wish I could have known, I wish you would have said something to me." He could feel the tears building up, blurring his vision to the point where he couldn't read the words on the gravestone. 

"There's not been a week where I haven't missed you. One night you were there in my arms and the next you were gone. I regret everything, I just… Ian… Why didn't you say anything? You know I would have done anything for you." The tears Luke had tried to keep back were flowing freely for what felt like the millionth time that week.

"I loved you so much, Ian, I still do. I miss you so much, and I'd do anything to have you back. There was so much out there for you, and I'm so sorry." He really was. Luke would have killed to have known, known about all the shit Ian felt, all the pain his brain was putting him through, endless abuse within himself. Luke wished he could have known. He'd have gone to the end of the world and back just to know that Ian would make it through another day.

So when he got the call, Jeff calling him in hysterics after he found Ian dead one morning, Luke's life could have just ended right on the spot. Ian struggled with himself for so long and he kept it from everyone. Luke hated himself for a good while, calling himself stupid and an idiot for 'not noticing sooner'. There wasn't anything he could have done, yet he thought it was all his fault.

Luke hadn't anticipated what he'd have left. Death took so much and what it left was barely anything. Still, Luke treasured what he had to remember Ian by. He was given Ian's Hidden Block jacket, and Luke always kept it close, the faint smell that lingered in the fibres, forever being a reminder that Ian was still so close, but a million miles away.

The tears slowed down, Luke taking a moment to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his jacket. He pulled the sleeve back, to check the time on his watch.

He couldn't stay much longer, despite wanting to. These little grave trips never lasted long, yet they always stung in the same way, like getting pricked by a cactus, the same feeling each time, the same result, just in so many ways different.

"I wish I could stay, I wish you could say something back. I just want to hear your voice, in person, one last time. I miss you, Ian, and I love you"


End file.
